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Fuckups of the World, Unite!

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Yo. [Dec. 27th, 2007|11:19 pm]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

I don't know how my mind got as fucked up as it is, but it did.
Believe me, it's really messed up.
I mean, REALLY.
Anyone else daydream about cutting their Grandma's head off with a chainsaw?
Don't worry, i didn't actually do it. But i really wanted to.
I've tried to rip someones arm off before. I didn't work, but they avoided me completely for the rest of the year, and they still won't talk to me without being rude. But I guess that's expected. I think that was the 4th or 5th grade.
I'm sort of a social outcast. I have a weird perception of things. I would kill someone without a second thought if they did the same to my cat. I'd make sure it was messy too.
Is that too much info? I sound kind of sycopathic. But i'm not really. I just have weird thoughts/ compulsions.  My mom thinks i'm obsessive compulsive. I think i'm borderline paranoid schizo. I have different personalities in my head. It started off with just Jessica and Mee (no that's not a typo. the name is Mee) and they just branched into a whole bunch more. My theory is that they appeared to make up for my pathetic loneliness.

Anyway, I bet there' s a completely logical and scientifical explanation for this. Just like Bigfoot. 
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(no subject) [Sep. 6th, 2006|11:21 am]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!
Hi, all.

My life is fucked up, yay. Sad, fat, bald loser who hates everyone and everybody, while maintaining nice smile (but not too wide, too many teeth are missing).

It sucks to be me, really.
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I Guess I Belong In This Community [Aug. 14th, 2006|03:09 am]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

[Current Location |my room]
[Current Mood |awakeawake]
[Current Music |ben folds]

I'm a teenager and as you all should know, this is a hard time for anyone. However, things have gone from bad to worse and I don't know what to do.

The issue at hand is the fact that my life has taken a hard spin into a most negative direction. Near the end of last year I told my parents that I was homosexual. This really helped me to come to terms with who I really am and who they thought I was. They were suprisingly supportive. They were supportive enough to accept my girlfriend into the family and to befriend her.

Then, after Christmas, my dad had a heart attack. We had known that he had a heart condition, but the doctors didn't treat him correctly this time and he ended up having a heart attack for about 12 hours in the hospital bed. He nearly died.

My mother took it really badly. She thought she had PTSD due to a rape back in the year 2000. Ever since 2000, she hadn't been a very sane person. She would do outrageous things and she was always upset about something. Well, before my dad's heart attack, she began to use cocaine to cope with her issues. My dad's friend Steve hooked her up and she soon became an addict.

On newyears, after the heart attack, mom claimed that she had been "raped" by my father and that he had threatened to kill her numerous times. She even claimed that my girlfriend & I had heard these threats but that we didn't remember them. However, she refused to take any action on them, but would only tell me about this. She seemed to only tell me this to see how I would react to the story. She did things like that repeatedly. Such as the cocaine. She first admitted her usage to my girlfriend, and then to me.

Then, one day, she told me that my dad had gone crazy and that she thought it was his meds he had started to take. I began to believe her because she kept talking about it over and over again. She wouldn't stop talking about this. She even got her friend/neighbor into this ordeal and soon became really close friends with my dad's friend Steve (the drug dealer).

The three of them would sit with my siblings and I and they would bash my father right in front of us. They would get drunk and talk about how my mother should divorce him and about how he doesn't deserve our family & about his lack of sanity. My mom soon became such good friends with Steve that she would go out late drinking with him and wouldn't return for hours and would be out nearly every night. My siblings even caught her using a few times.

My father soon began to accuse her of cheating on him with Steve. She then chalked his remarks up to his insanity(due to meds). Then, she began to talk about divorce and about how she had feelings for Steve. She would sneak out at night and stay the night at his place. She would even hold his hand in front of my siblings and I.

However, this was all after the night that she now claims that Steve had "abducted"(with the help of our neighbor, Laura) and "raped" her. So none of this added up. None of us could believe her. So we ended up sending her to a psychiatric hospital nearby...hoping that they could help to cure her of her alcoholism & cocaine addiction. Not only the additions, though...but the insane behavior & lies.

Most of this happened throughout my summer vacation. School's about to start and my mom is now in another hospital. This is just the condensed version of what happened. There's a lot more to it all. Now, even after all of this drama, I'm moving with my dad & siblings to Tennessee. He's been extremely irrational & paranoid. Not only that, but he had done a few things that are extreme & impulsive such as stealing the neighbor's(mother's friend/"abductor") dog & driving it far away (the dog was found and is in perfect condition by the way). Not only this, but now he's trying to make me think that I'm crazy. He compares me to my mother & questions my sanity. He literally told me that he wants me to go to the hospital with my mother because I'm severely depressed and I need to get help. Then, after telling this to me, we started talking about other things and he now keeps bringing up his opinion that "women are naturally insane". This scares me. I'm afraid that he's going to do something...or accuse me of something. I don't know anymore. I just know that my life is going straight to hell right now and I have NO control over it what-so-ever. I admit, I am depressed. However...who, in my position, wouldn't be?

I don't know what to do. I've had thoughts of running away and suicide. I've had all kinds of depressing thoughts. I just need control over my life again. I'm tired of being thrown about by my parents and their drama. I don't understand why my age should have anything to do with whether or not I can live my life the way I'd like to. I just...want to live a simple life with my wonderful girlfriend & with my siblings. I don't know how to fix this.

Also, my father is making my siblings & I move to Tennessee so that we'll be closer to his work. He used to work out of town, by the way.
I hope that you all can give me some advice.

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New website [Jun. 19th, 2006|11:19 pm]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

This seemed like a good place for my website whoring.
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Maddox does it again [Jul. 20th, 2005|08:02 pm]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

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Serial Adders [Jul. 8th, 2005|01:17 pm]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

So...what's the beef with serial adders?
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2005|10:12 pm]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

Hey. Are you looking for a community where you can interact with people who are knowledgable, and love their drugs? Are you looking for a chance to use your chemical expertise for the benefit of others? Are you a person with a glorious habit, and proud of it?

Well, you've found such a community where the feeling has been mutualized and concentrated.

But first you must meet Our Standards, and win the hearts of OVER HALF of our members in the form of an application process, because we are in fact one of those elitist rating communities, and its simply a way to weed out the lightweights, tasteless idiots, and typical douchewads, from the motherfuckers who know the deal, US, YOU, US. okay? alright then....

Tired of drug communities infested with brainless twits perpetuating the stereotype of the unintelligent, irresponsible, tasteless drug user? Longing to discuss your chemical love affair and lifestyle with other well-educated, well-read, socially aware users? So are we.
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fucked up...yes. [Apr. 1st, 2005|03:23 am]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!
[Current Mood |contentcontent]
[Current Music |my voice singing -lies- by billy talent]

yes...this may be one way to describe me just yet. i cannot seem to make anyone happy...except paul...but even then i dont think i really do. *sighs* fuck this...fuck her...fuck him...fuck life. fuck me. who will? life fucks me...over and over...no one is a virgin for life skrews us all. yes, this is so fuckin true...do you not agree? oki...well...i come looking for friends, but i doubt i will make any...*laughs*...im too weird. i have one too many sides...that i have become so lost and dont know who i am anymore. fuck me, oh my. i am just about 17. 17 years of being fucked over repeatedly by life that you would think that i would be used to it...but alas, i seem not to be. *sighs* so i hope to share why i am fucked up, but i currently have no idea. i know i fuck up other lives, as well as my own. im just another fuck up.

oki...so i end this entry...

love always
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(no subject) [Mar. 28th, 2005|05:51 pm]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

[Current Mood |naughtynaughty]
[Current Music |Lords of Acid]

'Ello. New member, obviously.

My "fuckup" status (yes, I must grace you all with it):
I take joy in others' misery. I'm usually not much of an apathetic person... but as of late... I find it hilarious. It gets quite bad at times and I take joy in my own misery. Yay, emo!

Meh *looks around*... *tries to blend in* School sucks? *steps behind someone*

Oh ja, small chance I may post some drab boohoo story from my past... Right. Moving on.
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I'm disturb :) [Mar. 12th, 2005|11:42 pm]
Fuckups of the World, Unite!

disturbed is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator
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